Held

So, since only the very last traces of phelgm remain, and because I’ve been gorging on chocolate digestives and cookies and feeling very lethargic and gaining weight, I decided it’s time to start trying to exercise again. heh. It’s always hardest getting started, but after that, you really do feel energised and stretched and good!

1 Timothy 4:8 “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.”

Then I read the above verse, and was reminded that the value exercise brings, is really just in this world, in this life, and that I should be far more concerned about my ST- spiritual training, shaping up in godliness, because that’s what’s got “value for all things”, now and also in eternity.

Hmm, I hope Daddy’s foot heals soon too!

This is perfect for a blue day, not that I had a blue day, but I was tired from reading, and a veggie tales song came up on my iTunes, and I suddenly really really wanted to watch something veggie tales, and so went to youtube to search, and found this! Which is one of my all time favourites. hahahaha.

http://www.youtube.com/v/hRm_pIJ9c6c

And I just stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock with a crowbar and I had to spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar who got stung by a bee right on the lip and we couldn’t even talk to each other until the fifth week because both our lips were so swollen and when he did start speaking he just spoke polish and I only knew like three words in polish except now I know four because Oscar taught me the word for lip, “Usta!” ahhhhhh…… so hilarious!

Isn’t that what I am, a mere babe in Christ? (1 Cor 3:1)… though by God’s grace I’m growing I’m growing day by day. And should grow too, so that I won’t be tossed back and forth by the waves, blown here and there by the winds of deceit and cunning. Should grow too, because we are called to grow to maturity, and we all look forward to when we’re ready for solid food, instead of milk.  Still, knowing I am but a babe in Christ, can at times discourage, when it shouldn’t at all.

Are you mourning, believer, because you are so weak in the divine life: because your faith is so little, your love so feeble? Cheer up, for you have cause for gratitude. Remember that in some things you are equal to the greatest and most full-grown Christian. You are as much bought with blood as he is. You are as much an adopted child of God as any other believer. An infant is as truly a child of its parents as is the full-grown man. You are as completely justified, for your justification is not a thing of degrees: your little faith has made you clean every whit. You have as much right to the precious things of the covenant as the most advanced believers, for your right to covenant mercies lies not in your growth, but in the covenant itself; and your faith in Jesus is not the measure, but the token of your inheritance in him. You are as rich as the richest, if not in enjoyment, yet in real possession. The smallest star that gleams is set in heaven; the faintest ray of light has affinity with the great orb of day. In the family register of glory the small and the great are written with the same pen. You are as dear to your Father’s heart as the greatest in the family. Jesus is very tender over you. You are like the smoking flax; a rougher spirit would say, “put out that smoking flax, it fills the room with an offensive odour!” but the smoking flax he will not quench. You are like a bruised reed; and any less tender hand than that of the Chief Musician would tread upon you or throw you away, but he will never break the bruised reed. Instead of being downcast by reason of what you are, you should triumph in Christ. Am I but little in Israel? Yet in Christ I am made to sit in heavenly places. Am I poor in faith? Still in Jesus I am heir of all things. Though “less than nothing I can boast, and vanity confess.” yet, if the root of the matter be in me I will rejoice in the Lord, and glory in the God of my salvation.

- Spurgeon’s morning devotions

Thank you Lord for daily bread.

Still ill (haha that rhymes!), aching and trying to complete the many tasks I have to do today. Wish I could have gone to church this morning, wish I could have had lunch. And this, the headache I have in front of me is the combined result of too many late nights and early mornings (illness) and procrastination (long to-be-done list).

See, any prolonged presence in front of my computer produces multiple postings on this blog of no substantial nature. Bad….

Ashes to Beauty Read the rest of this entry »

Really should be sleeping now, but can’t, plus I have a warm cup of ge gen tang from my housemate in front of me to finish. Flu virus struck suddenly this time, no warning! All the gross flu-ey symptoms too, aching, drippy nose, gross phlegm and mucus congested passages, sore throat etcetcetc, meant that I slept the whole afternoon away and still feel tired, and like I said, really should go to bed now, except when I tried I just found myself just lying there, which seems a proper waste of time and consciousness.

I want to talk about Chinese school today, and the little girl who made my heart melt. Really thankful for Charis (who is an amazingly cheerful and easy to talk to girl) who helped to teach my classes, since my voice seemed to be disappearing, real blessing. But no she’s not the little girl, she’s in final yr of uni like me and teaching.

But about the girl. When I walked into the second class during break, to put my books and things down, this girl runs up to me and surprises me by throwing her arms round my waist and hugging me so tight saying “yay yay I missed you!”.

And then she tells me all about her summer, asks if I had fun during mine, and again talked about how her dad passed away when she was really small, and she looks so young and pretty and innocent and sweet I really want to cry.

I’m so glad she’s in my class again really, most of the other students from her class last year have moved up to the next class, and I’m not teaching them anymore. I want to tell her about Jesus, I want to tell her about my Heavenly Father, who’s always there for her, even when she hardly knew her earthly one. I want her to know it doesn’t matter if you can’t go up to the next class, doesn’t matter if Jennifer’s your only friend in this class, I want to tell her not to bother about what Emily says (btw, she said “you’re screwed”, I realise the kids’ language doesn’t shock anymore.. )… I want to tell her how much Jesus loves her.

But sometimes I wonder how many of these Bible stories I tell, they’ll actually understand, how many will stay with them when they’ve grown up. I wonder how God is working, wish I could see something more something more, though in actuality, I’ve seen much and have much to be thankful for.

But little Wai Shaun, she’s just one of the reasons why I can’t leave the weekly Saturday morning routine just yet. The many other little faces I see each Saturday, each give me reason to keep going, be faithful.

But Jesus called the children to him and said, Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. – Luke 18:16

Also, missed someone’s birthday dinner because of this flu. But like my mother says, sickness is not always a bad thing, especially these flu sorts, because of the enforced rest it brings. And hey, who says an ill person has to be miserable, I’m feeling quite warm and cheery now.

Apologies for incoherence, I’m off to sleep.

And there’s this, which is sung in church every Sunday back home:

Doxology
Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost

On my playlist, right after Nichole Nordeman’s version of this Doxology comes Gratitude:

Gratitude

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
‘Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You’ll provide in other ways
And if that’s the case . . .

We’ll give thanks to You with gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger’s view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You’ll provide in other ways
And if that’s the case . . .

We’ll give thanks to You with gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead
And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that’s the case . . .

We’ll give thanks to You with gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please . . .

If you would like to listen to these two songs, they’re temporarily here and here.

Sometimes back home, at the end of church service, instead of the spoken benediction, the whole congregation sings:

Now unto Him who is able to keep,
able to keep you from falling.
And present You faultless
before the presence of His glory,
with exceeding joy.
To the only great God our Saviour
be glory and majesty,
dominion and power
forever and ever.
Amen.

Jude writes these words in the Doxology at the end of his letter, written “To those who have been called, who are loved by God the Father and kept by Jesus Christ.”

The previous week was busy in ways I couldn’t possibly describe or recount, this week I think can, so I shall.

Last Sunday, I went to church early and heard Romans 1 preached. After which I headed to the gym, with Angela’s encouragement, where I paid for six months worth of exercising in warmth indoors. Really hoping I’ll make good use of it, have decided (and really decided ok, not like before) that I should take fitness and health seriously, and look after my body! Though after that we walked to Chinatown and got thoroughly soaked, which I’m sure was why for most of the week I felt semi-ill.

Lectures began on Monday, and it was a good start, the modules seem as interesting as they did on paper, lecturers seem competent, all’s well. [French starts tomorrow though and I don't know about that!]

On Tuesday, I watched Steffy buy a whole basket load of M&S goodies, and discovered a new favourite cookie! Pistachio & Almonds. yay.

On Wednesday, I watched the first episodes of Grey’s Anatomy and Gilmore Girls’ and cried, and not really cos they were very sad either… think I should stick to my resolution to cut down my TV intake severely.

On Thursday, I attended my first Pilates class at ULU. Didn’t like- that the room was so dim, the new-ageish music with birds chirping (the birds irritated me to no end, had to ignore them after awhile but still!! I think it’s the pigeons…), the very smelly gym mats. Liked- the instructor, the exercises, the stretching and the slowness of it all. Overall like! So I read up a bit on Pilates, partly to make sure I’m not going to be dabbling in anything spiritually dubious, and found interesting tidbits like: 1. how Joseph Pilates originally called it Contrology and 2. a funny quote about the difference between yoga and pilates, something along the lines of “in yoga, you close your eyes and concentrate on inner spiritual something or other, in pilates, you open your eyes and concentrate on your butt!” ha ha.. you really do! the instructor kept saying, “remember, squeeze the butt muscles as you raise the leg”, which by the way, is very very difficult.

On Friday, it was ULU Freshers’ Fayre and some OCFers hit the streets to share the gospel with strangers. And I met a girl, just 4 years older, who was so hysterically sad and in such a horrible situation I could not do anything about. Felt so utterly helpless, and it’ll make you want to weep too I tell you. And I can’t help wondering about her still, keeps coming back to me, the way she looked standing there in the middle of the courtyard, in the rain under a big black umbrella for what seemed like ages, and her face- completely petrified/anger-stricken/lost. Li Xun was her name, and for her and her husband, I can only pray that they find solutions to their problems, that wandering through this sad sad world, they’ll one day find Jesus.

I thank God for OCF, for the people there, who love Him and love others, who are learning and wanting to love Him and love others even more. For how just the right words were sung, were said.

On Saturday, classes started at Chinese school. I’d forgotten how small the kids were! And there’s nothing like children to make a sunny morning even sunnier. I’m going to have a hard time deciding whether or not to stop spending my Saturday mornings there as I’d initially intended. And then at Hyde Park, the weather was so deliciously sunshiny and breezy and all the blue skies and green trees… Lovely weather, lovely people, lovely deck chairs. (can rent for 1.50/2hrs fyi )

Today, I went to church early with Dot. I love all-age service, I love having the kids in the congregation, I love the fact that we can all do the actions and sing songs like:

Our God is a great big God (x3) and he holds us in his hands

He’s higher than a skyscraper and he’s deeper than a submarine. He’s wider than the universe and beyond my wildest dreams, And he’s known me and he’s loved me, since before the world began. How wonderful to be a part of God’s amazing plan.

It was an all-age service, it was also a guest service, What is success? was the sermon topic, Rico Tice was preaching from Luke 12:13-21. A good reminder:”You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?” “This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God.”

It’s not just some platitude, that old lady’s saying, “failure is being successful at all the things that don’t matter.” And what matters for the here and now, knowing that after this precious fleeting life we’re plunged into an eternity? Bears thinking about.

Riches I need not, nor earth’s empty praise/You my inheritance through all my days/All of Your treasure to me You impart/High King of heaven, the first in my heart.

This weeks ends (starts) in gratitude.

Haven’t been writing much here, not about my summer, nor about my life the past week and a half back here in London.

Well in summary, my summer was challenging but one full of blessings too: may and daddy’s birthday; june and ipoh, kl, doulos, thailand, klang, shiying’s birthday; july and leaders’ retreat, work, home, digital life, leaders retreat, summer ocf, church; august and more of the same, shihui’s birthday; september and work ends, shimin and othello, gymming, mummy’s birthday, flight to london.

I challenge you to read between the lines of the above! Well in between those list-able things, were rollercoasters- emotional, spiritual, physical. The really steep-climbs-sheer-falls-360-degree-turns sort of rollercoasters, which I will never pay for in a themepark, and probably not dare to get on even if you paid me to!

Now the new school year has started. I’ve been forced by circumstance, more than by any great humility on my part, to start out head bowed low and on my knees. And now, I don’t know how to say what’s happened in this past week and a half except that (and saying like that is understating it by far by far..) God is so good, so faithful… and I want to stay on my knees the rest of the year. And it is, ironically or funnily enough I think, the only way I’m going to be able to run the race.

Someone once told me, of the rat-race, “The thing is, we run and run and run and run and run, but at the end of the race, we’re still rats.” haha. I don’t want to be running that race this year. By His grace, I’ll be running with perseverance the race marked out for me (Heb12:1-2).

Run with me?